Bienvenidos Al Valle de San Joaquin ~ Hanford

Welcome to the San Joaquin Valley!  Apparently there's only four cities you need to know about.

Tacos El Grullo ~ Hanford

I need a job.  BAD.

I'm at the point where I'm looking for work back in Visalia, my hometown.  If any of you know about Visalia, then you know my hesitations.  It's hot in the summer, cold in the winter and a wasteland of drunk high schoolers, pregnant girls, and old conservatives hell bent on keeping any form of liberalism outta their city.  

Ok, I'm over exaggerating, but seriously, it's not my beloved City of Angels, where Mexican's crap delicious tacos for all us gringos to enjoy.  Where loving Obama makes you hip, not retarded.  Where people of different race and lifestyle are commonplace, not unusual.  

So, I made the trek, did the interview (hungover btw, a whole story on its own) and took a train back home to LA.  

But not without stopping at a taco shop first :)

Tacos El Grullo

Despite having a big breakfast and lunch, I forced myself to make a stop here before I got onto the train.  I did a review on the Tacos El Grullo in Visalia, which was not well received by this taco lover.  I made it a point to stop here at this Grullo since it is the first of the three restaurant chain.  Maybe this parent station is what it's all about.  

*two carne asada, one pastor, one pollo

"Where's the carnitas, Jason?  What's up with the trio?"  

Yeah, they were out.  Bastards...

I went straight for the carne asada taco.  I took the first bite and it brought me back to the Grullo in Visalia, and the initial problem I had with this place.  The meat was nice and tender, cooked perfectly with crispy edges but again, the marinade was a bit salty.  "Damn them! They did it again," I think to myself.  It's sad because everything else is so proper, but that saltines was just a bit too much for me, and I usually enjoy salty!  You know its bad when someone who likes salty, thinks food is too salty.  

The pastor was cooked proper and came nice and hot, but they over sauced the pork.  It's like eating a rib that's been marinated properly, but then basted with the marinade, and served to you with bbq sauce plastered on it.  They just plain out over did it.  Overkill.  Too much.  Take it ez, Grullo, I'd like some pastor with my sauce please.  

My dad ate the pollo, kinda pissed because I have a feeling it might have been the best of the four tacos.  

Again, a mediocre taco experience that left me wondering, "Why?"  They have everything going for them:  proper tortillas, proper cooking methods, good salsa, but terrible meat prep.  Over salted asada and over sauced pastor.  Terrible...(en espanol).

Tacos ~ 1.30

Tacos El Grullo ~ 314 W. Lacey Blvd  Handford, CA 93230  559.584.8436

Taqueria el Mejor ~ Visalia, CA

This will probably be my last post for at least a couple weeks, I'll be touring the motherland of all taco's...Mexico. So look forward to some great reviews and pics from the place that started it all.

Taqueria el Mejor

It says a lot when a place like this impresses amongst a throng of other tried and tested mexican restaurants. Truly, I was impressed. Walking in I was greeted with a friendly smile and witty sarcasm from the two cashiers (I think they might have been the owners).

This place also doubles as a spanish deli and tamale factory...and they cater...and they deliver. Amazing.

*Asada, Carnitas y Barbacoa

I was pleasantly surprised to find barbacoa as a choice of meat for my taco. I fell in love when it was recommended to me by the owner of Gallego's Bro's deli in Mar Vista. I basically have used their barbacoa as a standard. With that said, Mejor is a serious competitor. If you've never had barbacoa..I recommend it. Think beef brisket...but juicier. When you cook pork in the same manner as barbacoa...it's referred to as carnitas.

They literally pulled the carnitas off the already cooked shoulder to use for my taco, yet I was a bit worried because they used the carnitas at the deli that's been sitting under a heat lamp. It was all good though, no tough meat. I was glad they dug into that shoulder with the tongs to get to the tender, juicy insides. As for flavor, I wouldn't say bland, but I'm definitely not saying flavorful. It was good enough though, I enjoyed it.

The carne asada was good for a little taqueria here in Visalia. The mixture of tender juicy bits of meat with crispy charred bits added a very nice contrast that went well for the taco. Next time I'm back I'll probably order only the asada...

I was glad to see an authentic taqueria of this calibur open up downtown. I recommend this place if you need your quick fix and don't want any of the fuss a restaurant could bring.

Pro's

-Hot Deli

-Tamale Factory

-Delivery service

-Catering service

-Percentage of profits go to ALX for Humanity - "rebuilding schools in third world countries."

Con's

-No salsa bar

-Small dining area

Small Taco's ~ 1.25

Taco's Grande's ~ 1.89

Flour Taco ~ 2.49

Taqueria La Mejor ~ 129 N. Court Visalia, CA 93291 559.733.9033

Super Taco ~ Woodlake, CA

It's crazy how far people will go to satisfy a craving.  Here in LA, I have to drive 30 mins south to Torrance for some proper Hawaiian style food.  For Italian deli sandwiches, I drive 20 min's to Santa Monica.  I mean, I could easily get these things here in Culver City and not be in a car any longer than 5 minutes, but sometimes you're willing to go that extra mile for a place that specializes in such things.  Places where only their food will hit the spot.  For many Visalian's, that place is Super Taco in Woodlake.

Super Taco

When I was just a little baby in the taco game, I was in awe of this place.  Just getting here you drive through beautiful country and farm land silhoutted by the Sierra Nevada's.  Super Taco itself is a little shack that probably can only fit about 25 people inside at once.  I used to think that since Woodlake was full of mexican migrant workers, the food was probably as authentically mexican as you could get. 

So, coming back with all this taco experience under my belt, I knew I'd be able to give a more objective review of this place, rather than my old romantic view from the past.  

*The Trio - Carnitas, al Pastor, Carne Asada

The carne asada was as good as I remember.  Chopped bits of carne asada that tasted great.  Seriously.  Hints of lime from the marinade created a very flavorful juiciness to the meat.  

The praise ends here though.  My pastor wasn't anything special.  Very forgettable.  And my Carnitas?  I don't know about that pico de gallo they put on top of very average grade, almost flavorless carnitas.  There was bell peppers and pickled carrots in the gallo.  Not a very big fan of that.  

Also, I know I shouldn't grade a place on their salsa but, I can't help it.  The salsa here just plain out sucked.  They only give you one kind of salsa and I didn't put it on any of my taco's, even though I really wanted to.  I looked around and of course, there wasn't a salsa bar either.  Very disappointing.

*Lengua Taco's

My cousin Patrick always gets lengua for his taco's so I was excited to hear what he had to say.  "Where would you rate this place, outta 5?"  I ask.  He gave a very definitive "3."  He enjoyed them, but nothing special.  Maybe if he had some good salsa???

As far as taco's goes, my old romantic view of this place clouded my perception of how good the food here really was.  With what I know now though, the taco's here were nothing special.  The asada had to be the highlight, but I could truthfully say that it would be hard to stand up with the greats here in LA.  

It's cool though.  You'll always have a place in my heart Super Taco.

Pro's

-Nice, scenic drive from Visalia

-Barbacoa and Menudo special's on Sunday

-Their "small" soda is actually a very "large" soda

Con's

-Salsa

-No Salsa Bar

Taco's ~ 1.25

Super Taco ~ 102 W. Naranjo Blvd. Woodlake, CA  93286

Rendon Taco Truck ~ Visalia, CA

I don't even remember the last time I ate a taco truck in Visalia.  Yet, they are around.  It's usually the blue collar people of Visalia who know where to find the good ones.  Road workers, ranch hands, construction workers and Mexican migrant workers alike, the trucks seek out these laborers daily.  Can't hate that.  If you don't have time to go off your site for food, they bring the food to your site.  It's genius.  I have a couple friends who are of said type, and they have nothing bad to say of the taco truck.  If anything, they love it.  The food comes to them, trucks are well equipped, and the prices are on the cheap.  Any red blooded, working-class American can agree with me on this.  

God Bless this country.  And God bless the taco truck.  

Rendon

Now, I know here in LA when you go to taco stands and trucks, you feel like, "hey, look at me, I'm getting down and dirty, like I was in Mexico!" or some BS like that.  Maybe not exactly that, but there's a mystique about eating at these places.  The experience is raw, you feel like an animal, or at least like your average hardworking Mexican-American.  And this taco truck in Visalia didn't fall anywhere short of that experience.  If anything, being at a place like this actually did put me in that mind set, the broke, hardworking American who just wants to eat his food, drink his beer, fuck, and go to sleep.  Wait, nevermind, I am that person. 

*Two Carne Asada Taco's

I really can't find anything bad to say about this place, besides it being 15 mins away.  With that said, everything was spot on.  They gave me my taco's with nothing on it.  PERFECT.  They had a salsa bar on the side that was legit.  Everything you'll find at a top notch spot here in LA.  They even had guacamole.  Not the salsa either...straight up guacamole.  Sometimes I can't stand places that don't have these bars, then when you get your taco's "con todo" (with everything) sometimes you want more cilantro, or more roja.  And guess what?  There's no salsa bar to have your taco exactly how you want it.  Not the case with this truck.

I think they chop the carne while its on the griddle, so by the time it hits your plate they are in little beef bits on your tortilla.  The flavor and juiciness was right on.  Perfectly seasoned and not too salty, proper asada style.  And the juiciness?  Check the top picture.  You can literally see the juice oozing from the meat.  The portion of carne on the taco was also noteworthy.  Probably one of the most filled taco's I've ever had, without tortilla break, thus far.  

Conclusion?  Seriously?  Do I need one?  Ok, I like this place.  No, I loved it.  I will go back and try out whatever else they have to offer.   Maybe the buche?  Hahaha, maybe another time.  I'll stick with the trio.

Pro's

-Salsa Bar

-Outdoor covered seating area with lights for night time

Con's

-15 min's out of central Visalia.  

Taco's ~ 1.25

Rendon ~ old highway 63, 10 min's north of the Oval, Visalia,  CA  93291

Taco's El Grullo ~ Visalia, CA

Random dbag:  "So, where you from?"

Me:  "Visalia"

Random dbag:  "Huh? Where?"

Me:  "Visalia, it's just below Fresno.  By the Sequioas."

Random dbag:  "Uhh you mean Valencia?"

Me:  "Shut the fuck up you doucher"

And so it goes.  There's different ways this conversation could go, but this one pretty much sums up what almost every Visalia raised person must go through once he/she has left the nest.  And left the nest I have.  

I'm sure few have noticed, but I haven't posted anything in the past what?  10 days or something?  Sorry folks, I was too busy taking in the best of what my hometown has to offer.  Good people, good food, the great outdoors, parking everywhere you look, and no traffic.  

And speaking of good food, you know my shit, you know why I do this.  Taco love.   Por Vida.

Tacos El Grullo

With restaurants in Lemoore and Hanford, these guys thought it would be a good idea to open a third spot here in my city.  Suckers, little do they know the building they chose is seriously cursed in my opinion.  Almost every other year a new restaurant opens up, does mediocre, then is outta business.  

Good luck Grullo.  It's gonna be hard to show the people of Visalia something they've never seen before, cause around every other corner there's a mexican restaurant that is tried and proven.  

*The holy Trio - Carnitas, al Pastor, Carne Asada.

Three words.  Not a fan.  What's up with mediocrity these days?  I swear, my carnitas would have been so good, but too bad they had to serve me the shit that's been sitting under a heat lamp for hours.  The flavor was straight, yet the texture was that of jerky.  Come on guys.

The pastor was forgettable.  Seriously, I couldn't even tell you what it tasted like because I don't remember.  

The asada,  ohhh the asada.  A favorite among many Visalian's.  You better get this one straight among the gabachos or be ready to get lynch mobbed.  Sadly, the asada was nothing special.  I could tell they didn't marinate the beef.  It was highly seasoned and a smidge too salty for my taste, and I like salty.  To be fair though, they did cook the meat when I ordered it, and it came to me tender and juicy.  

I'm sorry Grullo.  You're not gonna get the seal of approval from this taco lover.  You have potential though.  Work on the fundamentals of the game.  Come back when you're well seasoned, and maybe you'll be able to impress me.  Oh, and about the location, you better throw up some "Hail Mary's" if you know what I mean.  

Pro's

-Mexican pastries available at only 45 cents a pop

-Free tooth picks

Con's

-A small fish in a big sea of mexican restaurants

Taco's ~ 1.30